I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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