I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
