My brain says no but my pants say off.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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