i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
