dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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