Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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