just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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