In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
