It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Randomize
