Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
