So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
