Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
and you fell through a lawn chair
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize