What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
