covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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