people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
