she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
