thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
i think i just lost a toe
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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