I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
