if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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