Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
