Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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