carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
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