Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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