I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I believe in your delicious
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
