do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
