is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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