Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
