I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
