I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
