were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
