can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
