the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
