she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize