okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
