North Korea, Best Korea!
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm passing your future prison.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
