As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize