At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
