Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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