if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
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