Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
