Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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