After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
