Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I fill condoms, not promises.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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