Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize