i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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