just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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