today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
we're so committed to being not committed
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
