So drunk its hurt
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Panties = found
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
