Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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