So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
