I hate all girls vehemently.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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