Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I look better un-naked...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
