Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
