god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
