Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize