I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
