State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize