they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
