His pubic hair was longer than his dick
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
