Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Randomize
