My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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